Buddha's act aim is to break yourself

Buddha's act aim is to break yourself

Xuemo

Mahamudra, people usaually misunderstand it very easily. Mahamudra ,which we find in chivalry novels of Mr.JinYong, is very mysterious Kongfu. This GongFu is used to fight against other human beings. But Mahamudra in Chinese Western culture, it is used to fight against ourselves. We focus on conquering ourselves. Chinese Western culture don’t encourage our lust to conquer the world, we don’t conquer the world, to feed our lust.

Great: Great ambition, realm of lofty thought, great compassion, it doesn’t need limited and tiny things. It transcends a certain tribal, village, a race, a nation, even human being, to a higher level, in order to observe this world. A great ambition is to brace and welcome everything, this is also one of the reasons that western culture of china is very rich. Genocide never occurred on western china, like Indian and some of western countries. For example, they slaughtered each other between different denominations. Because of the western culture of china is a very big mind, so the land is very rich in culture.What is” hand”? When you make your choice, you need to use your hands to turn it into reality. So the hand, means practice and act. There is no practice, no act, there is no any meaning of your choice.Seal, is to surpass. What is the surpassing? When your hearted is trapped by the odd, tedious, vulgar from the outside world, you need to learn to surpass them. The surpassing let you have your own heart. When many kinds of concepts are flooding in the world, you need to stay with your own heart, stick to your own target and persistently walking toward to your goal. This is the surpassing we are talking about.

To break is to surpass. Many of people are confused, to break is to surpass, how? To break is to break a very strange and may be wrong limitation which you form.

 I had 3 experiences of self breaking. First breaking is to break the delusion of life. I used to think I owned my life. I loved everything about me, loved good food. Of course, I loved plenty of the things which are nice to my body sense. One day, my little brother died at a very young age, only 27 years old. I saw him to pass away, from a very strong man to the end of the life. And finally I buried him into the graveyard with my own hands. I thought, I am the first boy, he was the second, If the God has given the illness to the elder brother, me, in stead of my younger brother, I was disappeared. I found the life so fragile and I couldn’t live for ever or be sure how long I can live. Because I don’t know when I will die . I have a skull in my home, which is a specimen gift from my friend. I think I could become that skull anytime. So I became not to be obsessed with lots of things. I need to accomplish what I should do, before I become that skull. So I read differently from the others, If I am reading a book right now. That is the book it need to be read in my life time. If I died tomorrow and I hadn’t the opportunity to read the book, I will leave in a quite pity. That is the same way I am doing my jobs. I write down everything I should write today and then go to sleep fully at ease. So I am rarely bothered by the dreams at night.

Therefore, in this case, the death break my delusion to my life. I own lots of self subjectivity. So I am doing everything, referring to the death. When you obsessed and entangled with other people. Tell yourself, never mind. There is nothing so obsessing actually. After some time, both of you become skulls. When people around you is chasing after so much lust, including a position of officer, you can tell yourself, never mind. The position will go, while body dies. I learn the art of choice making from the death.

The seconding breaking, I broke my limited opinion of literary circles. 20 years of my writing time, have 10 years I was eager to go into the literary circle, which was so noble and holly in my heart. Finally I stepped into the circle and found it not so holly and noble as I thought. There was 2 years, I couldn’t write one word out. When I finished my studying in LuXun literature institution. I went on a train from BeiJing, so released. That was a kind of feeling, like a fawn was hit by a hunter’s arrow, just ran its life to a safe place, licking the wound. I went into a room, where I used to retreat and medicate directly and didn’t want to go outside of the room and couldn’t write a word in 2 years. But afterwards, I found something amazing and awesome in this circle, like I won lots of prizes, but I don’t even know anyone of judge committee. We can see, there is a solid red line in this circle. When your work is beyond the red line, it will earn recognition. One of the professors said , it is the work, its self, which judge committee pays attention to. When you want to buy recognitions, if the money is not big enough in amount, the judge will give you the prize. The judge will trust his own judgment and consciousness. Until now, I think it is hopeful for china literary circle. That is the truth I have experienced. This breaking is to break my understanding and knowledge of the past. In a result, I have formed a more objective opinions of the circle..

One day, I decide to put the literature down, not to mention the literature, in order to free my mind. I choosed religion.  I used medication practice from Religion to calm down and put down the literature. When I finally can put it down, “bang”, I got it. The time I found I can put it down, I can write out the masterpieces. My door to soul was opened and there is a world, which is flown out of it. Like, "a Cult of Vast Desert", "Hunting Ground" and "White Tiger’s Gate" was the flow from it. Afterwards, It is not I was writing a book, it just flows out on its own. Lots of professors read my books and said Xuemo is quite good at words and writing. But in fact, I was not writing them out, the words flowed. Furthermore, I practice the concentration training from religion and practiced it devotionally. Finally I also had broken down “religion (different names, concepts of religion). Because I found it probably yields the crime, in a systematized religion. It is just like a bottle, when it face to the light and shadow on the back definitely. At the end, I don’t blind worship everything included, to use my wisdom, to choose.

After 3 times of breaking, I have surpassed myself. Lots of time, breaking oneself is to surpass. We need to break down ourselves of past and continually to surpass. A narrow minded person will hold his bottom so tightly and think that is the most precious thing in the world. Actually this world is so colorful and richful, we need to open our heart to brace the world. When you finally can break youself, you will find that everything this world brings is your nutrition, including adversity When you break down your own suffering, not obsessing with tiny gains and losses. You will find there is no real adversity at all. Why? Because everything happens becomes the nutrition to your soul. When you face the up and downs, it is the time to see if your mind is strong enough. If yes, you owned yourself. At this time, you can experience lots of things, while observing if your mind is strong enough. You think your mind is very strong. When you face enticement, are you still calm ? You think you fear nothing, do you feel it, when you face the death and fatal illness. You said you don’t think highly of women, how do you feel, when you see a very beautiful woman. This process is what we called, Society entering. When you surpass, you need to takes this surpassed mind, to be into this world, to experience pains, to experience adversity, to accumulate the experiences, to perfect yourself.

Therefore the transcendence of Buddhism is not to elude from this world, nor to hide in a temple, with a meaningless view of this world. Some people hold a faith like this: freedom outside of world, incompetence into the world. They said, I have a freedom, without any dealing with human being.. I think if you live without any dealing with human being, you can’t be called as a human being as well. Your heart is still with you, when you deal with people around. That is the meaning of the practice. You will grow up practically, when you fully experience this world and still hold your heart well. In a word, Mahamudra(Great hand seal) hold a faith that the world is the tool for you to observe and adjust your mind and the world is the very nice food to your soul. Because the core spirit it holds as above, Buddhism is a vast and profound religion.

Notice

Translated by non-professional culture volunteers, there would be some inaccuracies in the translation. You are welcome to offer us some advice for emendation. Please feel free to contact us.We also look forward to you joining our voluntary translation team.

Please contact us at suonanzhuoma1988@163.com, thank you.

修行的目的在于打碎自己

雪漠

“大手印”很容易得到人们的误解。同学们在金庸的武侠小说中看到的“大手印”，是一种非常神秘的武功。那个武功是用来对付人类的，而西部文化中讲的大手印是用来对付自己的。西部文化更多是强调征服自己。西部文化不是要人们靠自己的欲望去赢得世界，也不是靠征服世界去满足自己的欲望。

“大”：大胸怀、大境界、大悲悯。它不需要小的东西。它超越了部落、村庄、民族、国家甚至人类，上升到更高的层次，来观照这个世界。它非常博大。大胸怀就是包容一切，这也是西部文化非常丰富的原因之一。西部从来不会出现像印度、或者像西方其他国家出现过的种族屠杀。比如，因为教派的不一样而相互屠杀。正因为西部文化有非常大的胸怀，所以那块土地上的文化非常丰富。那么什么是“手”？当你选定目标之后，就要把你的选择用“手”表现出来。“手”代表行为。没有行为，所有的选择没有意义。“印”就是超越。什么叫超越？就是当你的心被世界上各种奇怪的、庸俗的、繁琐的东西困住时，你一定要学会超越出来。让心真正属于你自己。当这个世界上流行各种各样概念的时候，你要守住自己的心，瞅中自己的目标不断地向那个方向走。这就是超越。

打碎就是超越。好多人想问超越怎么是打碎呢？打碎你形成的一种非常奇怪的、可能是错误的局限，就叫超越。

过去我自己有过三次打碎。第一次是打碎对生命的幻觉。以前我觉得生命属于我。我爱护自己的一切，喜欢吃，当然也喜欢对身体有好多好处的东西。后来有一天我的弟弟死了，死时他仅仅二十七岁。当我亲眼看到他从一个非常健壮的青年，一步一步走向死亡，最后被我亲自埋进坟墓的时候。我就想，我是老大，他是老二，上帝稍微把赐给老二的病转一下赐给我时，我就消失了。我忽然发现生命如此脆弱，再也不觉得自己永远活着不死，或者能活多长时间。我不知道什么时候会死。我的家中有一个死人头骨，是我的朋友制成了标本后送给我的。我想，我随时会变成这个死人头骨。那么，我就不执著现在的许多东西。我要在这个脑袋变成头骨之前，尽快地做完自己该做的事情。所以，我读书的时候，和别人不太一样。这辈子最该读的一本书，就是我现在读的这本书。如果我明天死了，昨天没读那本书，那么，我这辈子会非常遗憾。我做事情也这样，如果明天死亡来临，今天就做那件不做会令自己非常遗憾的事。我写书也是这样。这辈子每天都赶紧写完自己该写的东西，然后坦然地入睡。所以，我一般是不做梦的。

因此，死亡打破了我对生命的幻觉。死亡让我自己拥有了许许多多的主体性。我做什么都以死亡为参照。当你跟别人恩恩怨怨、纠缠不清的时候，你告诉自己不要紧，因为不久之后两个人都是两堆骨头，没有什么可值得计较的。当别人追逐许多欲望，包括当官这些东西时，你也要告诉自己不要紧，因为不久之后那个位置就会随自己的死亡而消失。死亡让我学会了取舍。

第二个打碎了对文坛的执著。在我写作的二十年中，有十多年的时间里，我一直想进入中国文坛――神圣的中国文坛。有一天，我终于进入了中国文坛，却发现文坛不是我想象得那样神圣和崇高。我有两年时间写不出一个字。当我结束了鲁迅文学院的学业，坐上离开北京的火车时，我喘了一口气。自己有种什么感觉呢？就好像被猎人射了一箭的小鹿，想尽快地逃到一个没有人的地方，静静地舔舐自己的伤口。一回到家中，我马上进入我平时用来静修、坐禅的佛堂，久久地不愿意出来，两年内写不出什么东西。但是我后来发现，文坛中间也有许多非常伟大的东西，非常让人敬畏的东西、比如我获了好多奖，但我连评委都不认识。可见，中国文坛有个底线。当你的作品达到底线的时候，大家都会由衷地认可你。后来一位老师说，评委主要是看作品。当你用金钱去买评委良心的时候，如果数目很小的话，他是不会给你评奖的。评委会相信他自己的目光和良心。直到今天，我仍然觉得中国文坛非常有希望。真是这样的。这种打碎是我对过去认识的打碎。因此，今天才有了比较客观的看法。

有一天，我决定放下文学，再也不提文学，让自己的心灵得到自由的时候，我选择了宗教。我用宗教中坐禅的方式，让自己的心定下来，放下文学。就在我放下文学的时候，“哗——”我明白了。放下文学的时候，我发现我能写出最好的作品，我的心灵之门被打开了，笔下流淌出一个世界来。《大漠祭》、《猎原》、《白虎关》都是这样流出来的。后来，不是我写作品，而是作品本身在流淌。读过我作品的许多老师，都说雪漠的文字很好。但事实上我没有“写”，是文字自己流淌出来的。之后，我一直通过宗教中定力的训练，非常虔诚地修炼，后来我把“宗教”（名相、概念）也打碎了。因为，我发现所有被制度化的宗教都可能有罪恶。它像这个瓶子一样，当它面对光明的时候必然有阴影。于是我再也不迷信一些东西，而是用智慧去选择。

这三次打碎之后，我实现了自己的超越。许多时候打碎自己就是超越。不断地打碎过去的自己，不断地超越。只有一个没有什么大的胸怀的人，才会抱着自己的瓶子，把瓶子揣到怀里，永远认为那是最珍贵的东西。这个世界非常大，打碎意味着敞开胸怀去拥抱这个世界。当你打碎自己的时候，就会发现这个世界上的一切都是你的营养，包括苦难。当你打碎自己的苦难，不执著自己的小东西的时候，就会发现世界上没有苦难。为什么？因为，所有的东西都在为你的心灵提供营养。当你面对世上的纷纷扰扰的时候，就是在看你的心灵是否足够地强大。心灵足够强大的话，你就属于你自己。这时候你就进入这个世界，去经历这世上无数的值得你经历的好多事，看一看你的心灵是不是足够强大？当你觉得自己很强大时，那么在面对巨大的诱惑时，你是不是仍然强大？你觉得自己什么都不怕，没有恐惧，那么当你面对疾病和死亡威胁时，你是否还没有恐惧？你说从来看不起女人，当你看到一个非常美的女人时，你是否还能把持住自己心？这个过程叫入世。当你超越之后，就要用这颗超越的心灵去进入这个世界，去历炼痛苦、经历磨难、积累经验、完善自己。

所以，佛教的超越不是为了躲避这个世界，或是看破红尘躲到寺院里，躲到小小的房子里。有人信奉一句话：“避人得自在，入世一无能。”说我避开人、不见人就得到了自在，而我觉得你要是不见人的话，也不是人。一定要在见人的时候，心还属于你自己。如果在世上历炼的时候，心也能属于你自己，这才能让自己真正的长大。所以，大手印文化认为整个世界都是你调心的道具、灵魂的营养。正因为拥有这样的胸怀，佛教文化才非常博大。

声明：本文系文化志愿者试译，非专业人才翻译，错误定然不少，如出现疏漏及错误，敬请读者见谅。如有任何翻译上的建议及修正意见，欢迎及时与我们取得联系，我们会加以校对、修改，并希望有专业才能的朋友也能加入我们志愿者群体中来。

邮箱地址：suonanzhuoma1988@163.com